Style from Beckett's Waiting for Godot
Happiness
‘She asked me yesterday if I thought she was happy.’
‘That’s a dangerous question.’
‘Why?’
‘Because once they ask it out loud, they expect an answer.’
The other parent watched someone return a trolley badly and leave it sideways against the kerb.
‘What did you say?’
‘I asked her what she meant.’
‘And?’
‘She got annoyed immediately.’
A faint smile.
‘Of course she did.’
‘She said, “I don’t know, just… happy.”’
‘That word does a lot of heavy lifting.’ The wipers dragged once across the glass. ‘When we were younger, happy seemed simpler.’
‘No. We were just too young to inspect it properly.’
A teenager crossed the car park in slippers despite the rain.
‘Mine keeps saying she feels lost.’
‘Mm.’
‘I keep trying to reassure her.’
‘Does it work?’
‘For about four minutes.’
‘That’s quite good.’
‘I told her she’s clever. That she’s kind, that things will work out.’
‘And she looked unconvinced?’
‘Completely.’
A pause.
‘Maybe because those answers don’t actually solve the question she’s asking.’
‘Which is?’
‘Whether her life belongs to her yet.’
Rain tapped softly against the roof.
‘That sounds dramatic for sixteen.’
‘Sixteen is dramatic.’
A car reversed nearby. Neither looked up.
‘What do you do then?’
‘Mostly? I try not to rush in every time he looks uncertain.’
‘That’s difficult.’
‘Very.’
‘You don’t worry?’
‘Constantly.’
‘Then how do you leave it alone?’
The second parent shrugged. ‘I’m not sure teenagers always need solutions. Sometimes they need room to hear themselves think.’
Silence settled for a moment.
‘Mine talks most in the car.’
‘Common side effect of not having to look directly at you.’
‘She told me last week she doesn’t know who she is.’
‘That’s probably true.’
‘You make that sound normal.’
‘It is normal.’
The first parent folded a receipt into smaller and smaller squares. ‘I think I expected happiness to look obvious.’
‘What does obvious happiness look like?’
‘Confidence. Energy. Friends. Motivation.’
‘That sounds more like advertising.’
‘So what should we look for?’
The other parent thought for a moment. ‘Whether they feel safe enough to become someone.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Whether they can change their mind without panic. Whether they can fail without collapsing. Whether they can sit quietly without needing to perform happiness every second.’
Outside, a teenage boy carried flowers awkwardly through the rain while checking his phone every few steps.
‘Mine asked me the other day what the point of life was.’
‘Big Tuesday evening question.’
‘I nearly launched into a speech.’
‘Did you?’
‘No. I just said, “I don’t fully know either.”’
‘How did that go down?’
‘Honestly? Better than expected.’
The second parent nodded slowly. ‘They can tell when we’re pretending certainty.’
Another silence.
‘Do you think your son’s happy?’
The question stayed between them for a while.
‘I think,’ the other parent said eventually, ‘he’s learning how to become someone he can live with.’
‘That enough?’
‘Might be the same thing.’
The rain eased slightly now.
‘Funny thing is,’ the first parent said, ‘I spend so much time trying to make sure she’s OK that I sometimes forget to actually sit with her.’
‘Mm.’
‘I keep trying to steer.’
‘Most of us do.’
A group of teenagers passed the car laughing too loudly at something that probably was not very funny.
‘You know what I think helps most?’ the second parent said.
‘Go on.’
‘Small things. Tea. Car journeys. Walking somewhere without turning it into a lesson.’
‘That simple?’
‘Probably.’
The first parent watched the teenagers disappear towards the bus stop.
‘Feels strange,’ they said quietly. ‘Realising they’re building a life inside themselves that we can’t fully enter anymore.’
‘That was always the job.’
A long pause followed that.
‘Hard part is accepting it.’
‘Mm.’
‘And the harder part?’
The second parent watched the rain gather again at the edge of the windscreen.
‘Trusting they can carry more than we think.’
Sources:
Ginsburg, K. R. (2015). Building Resilience in Children and Teens.
The Whole-Brain Child
The Gifts of Imperfection
Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
Real conversations with parents and teens (anonymous interviews, coaching notes)